im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
