THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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