My pussy is not your playground.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
