check it out our google latitudes are spooning
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
if only i could text you this smell
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
