they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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