Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
