my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
