i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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