Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
