Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It's just like the Real World with babies
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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