garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
