Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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