didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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