Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
