all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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