I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
