That's intense
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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