You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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