I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I smell stomach acid.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
