That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
