3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize