After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
