like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
it's like iHOP with fire
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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