do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
