How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
