STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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