You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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