dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
