"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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