I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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