bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
