You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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