I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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