I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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