@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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