Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My life is pants optional.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
