What a fucking waste of an outfit
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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