I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
