He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
