i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
