Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
