So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
