East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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