plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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