Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
