well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
