In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
