i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
