Where is the hickey?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
