Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
