Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize