i just wanna soil my oats bro
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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