me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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