i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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