I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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