would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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