I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
