If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
