You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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