1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
