i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
