I can text with my tongue
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
