she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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