i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
jump out the window naked night went bad
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
