Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
