How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
