You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize