you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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