you turned your livingroom into a bong?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
