I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
